Maybe the writer of this script could do another script that is the same, but when people sign up for a domain, instead of making a sub-domain, it makes a folder, in the folder it writes a file with the re-direct in it to the long url.
so if I was to sign up for the domain
www.example.com/djalecc
this would make a folder called djalecc, and in that folder the script would add either a .htaccess file with RewriteRule ^old\.html$ new.html [R]
or it would create a html file with a meta refresh to the long ugly url that I entered on the sign up.
You could then have 2 scripts that please everyone.